I have had glitter on my face for days. But when I look in the mirror, I can’t see it to get it off. It’s just this slight irritating shimmer I see every now and again on my nose or cheek that I can’t quite seem to brush off.
A week ago, I left my older children at home with my husband while I made a trip to the airport to get my parents. Before I left, my artsy-craftsy daughter asked if she could get the glitter out of the art closet and work on a project for her grandma. This particular child is very creative and like her mother, very messy. Well, I left the house, a little timid about my choice, but made the foolish decision to just trust that she would clean up after herself appropriately.
About an hour later, I got a phone call from my husband saying, “just remember, you were the one who told the kids they could use glitter.”
This didn’t sound good. There were no details given, but I have had ominous phone calls like this before, and it quickly set my imagination into motion, my mind’s eye seeing what I might face when I got home.
Now for this portion of the story, just imagine that three (not one, like I had give permission to) young, energetic and creative children were given free reign over your kitchen (not the craft table where I had asked her to work) and then given 4 large containers of glitter (oh, and some glue) and then they most likely, based on the looks of the kitchen, threw the glitter around in handfuls as if it were Mardi Gras. My sweet husband who had worked too many 5am shifts at this point had accidentally fallen asleep on the couch while this parade of craftiness was occurring but is brilliant enough to have woken up and most likely like a bear after hibernation growled out cleaning instructions probably involving threats.
So they “cleaned.” Probably….no possibly….to the best of their ability. But let me tell you, that when I got home there was a fine layer of this stuff everywhere. Not exaggerating. Countertops, table, chairs, sinks, floor, kitchen bench, both kitchen sinks, even in the salad I had made for dinner before I left. I was absolutely ridiculous. Not in the funny ridiculous sort of way. And as I sit in my kitchen a week later, I literally cannot turn around without seeing it all over the surface of everything I see, despite much cleaning on my part.
What isn’t still there is my extreme frustration with my children (at least regarding this topic!). Luckily. That first night, I was not willing to let it go. She asked what we were having for dinner. My answer…glitter. She asked about dinner the next night. My answer…glitter. What would we be doing with grandma and grandpa the next day? Cleaning glitter. I was ticked with a capital “t” and I was going to let everyone know about it.
A week later? Slightly annoyed. Mostly embarrassed. Mostly because the most amazing women in the world –aka the girls who clean my house – are coming soon and there is NO way they won’t wonder what in the world happened here.
Back to the glitter on my face…..I have showered approximately seven times since this incident and somehow I am aware that it still lingers on my face somewhere. In all honesty, it probably isn’t, but I have set my mind up to see these shiny flecks everywhere I turn.
Which makes me wonder….what other things in my life to do I see everyone I look? What might I even see even though it isn’t there. I know that for me, there are moments of obsession with certain pertinent issues that I am facing and no matter what I do to not “see” it all day long, it glimmers everywhere I look. I have fought battles in my mind over jealousy, anger, sadness, frustration, being offended….and despite my best efforts to gather those feelings up and place them on a shelf, I can’t collect all of those emotions and clean them up. And they show up everywhere.
I’m gonna have glitter around here for a dang long time. I don’t think there is any amount of cleaning that is going to get every little piece they sprinkled around my kitchen. An annoying reminder of something I don’t want in my life. A hint at the fact that whatever I do, life just doesn’t clean up pretty all the time.
Only one real solution here. A change in the way I see it. It’s time to see the glitter as a blessing that my daughter loves to be creative, not a reminder that she is a holy messy disaster. And the glimmering things that are the true messiness of my life….a little trickier, but still can be tolerable with a change of heart. Sadness over a difficult relationship with someone that I come in contact with daily can truly be gratefulness that the relationship even exists. Frustrations over still having our name on a house that we don’t live in and yet drive by multiple times a day can be a reminder of all of the sweet lessons we have learned during this experience.
I can’t say that this change of heart makes everything beautiful. It can make it tolerable. And the consistency of seeing those annoying pieces of shiny stuff everywhere we turn also reminds us that yes, we may not be able to clean it up, but our Heavenly Father can and learning to think of Him and rely on Him often brings a sense of comfort amidst chaos. I know He won’t clean up my kitchen floorboards, but He can help me to have the patience to endure it and find the sparkle that is there. Right there on the end of my nose so that I sure can’t forget about it…..
Speaking of which…..just found out about some shimmery lipstick on my couch…..seriously?
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